How To Handle Your First Major Conflict as an AD

How to Handle Your First Major Conflict as an AD

It doesn’t take long for a new athletic director to run into conflict. A parent upset about playing time, a scheduling mix-up that leaves two teams without transportation, or a coach whose frustration boils over during a game. It’s part of the territory.

Your first major conflict won’t be your last, but it matters more than most. People are watching closely to see how you respond. Did you stay calm? Were you fair? Did you protect the credibility of the athletic program? These moments are a rite of passage, and while you don’t have to be perfect, you do need to be intentional.

Here are five practical ways to navigate your first big test as an AD:

1. Keep Perspective
2. Stay Out of the Middle
3. Set the Tone in the Room
4. Put It in Writing
5. Move On Quickly

1: Keep Perspective

The first conflict always feels enormous, especially when you’re new to the role and still building confidence. But in the big picture, it’s one situation among many that will come across your desk this year. Remind yourself that most issues fade quickly in the minds of others. What sticks is how you handle it. Staying calm and keeping perspective shows that you’re not easily rattled, which reassures coaches, parents, and administrators alike.

2: Stay Out of the Middle

One of the easiest mistakes for a rookie AD is getting trapped between a coach, a parent, and an athlete. Each side tries to pull you in as their ally, and suddenly you’re the messenger in a game of telephone. That’s not your role. Draw clear lines: coaches make coaching decisions, parents parent, and athletes focus on competing. Your responsibility is to uphold school policies and maintain standards. When you avoid being triangulated, you protect your credibility and prevent one conflict from spiraling into three.

3: Set the Tone in the Room

If the conflict calls for a meeting, don’t let the room dictate the tone—you set it. Begin with facts rather than emotions, and structure the conversation around clarity and resolution. A simple formula works: “Here’s what happened, here’s what the policy says, and here’s what happens next.” This approach removes ambiguity and keeps the conversation from drifting into personal attacks or endless back-and-forth. When you provide structure, you lower the temperature and give everyone a path forward.

4: Put It in Writing

Your first conflict is the one most likely to get revisited later by a superintendent, principal, or even a school board. Protect yourself and your program by documenting everything. Write down the date, who was involved, what was said, and what decision was reached. Stick to facts and keep it professional. Documentation not only covers you in case the issue escalates, it also demonstrates that you take your role seriously. Over time, a consistent paper trail builds trust that you’re managing situations with transparency and fairness.

5: Move On Quickly

After your first major conflict, it’s tempting to replay the moment over and over, wondering if you could have said or done something differently. Reflection is good—but obsession is not. Learn what you can, make adjustments, and then let it go. Every experienced AD has early missteps, and none of them are career-ending. What matters is that you use the moment to grow and avoid carrying unnecessary baggage into the next challenge. Moving on quickly shows resilience, which your staff and community will notice.

Bottom Line:

Your first major conflict is a rite of passage, not a catastrophe. Handle it with fairness, composure, and a clear record, and you’ll come out stronger. The conflict itself will fade, but the credibility you build in how you respond will stick with you for the long haul.